Archive for February, 2021

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now.

Wednesday, February 10th, 2021

How are you all doing? I would normally send out my first newsletter of the year in January and here we are in February. Please know that I have not forgotten you, nor have I stopped writing. In fact, what I am noticing is that I am writing in my head now more than ever. Yes it is a thing. What I have learnt from hanging around writing groups and listening to podcasts with writers like Elizabeth Gilbert and Ann Lamott, is apparently many writers write in their head. The problem sometimes is actually getting it down on paper. In any event, I am so glad to finally be doing that with you. If you or any of your loved ones are an essential worker my heart and gratitude goes out to you. You know what your role is at this time. For others, it might be this is a time of inner reflection and slowing down. Some call it the great “reset”. It can also be a time of i creativity and innovation, hence the title of this blog. An opportunity to look around, evaluate where we are in our lives and like all great pilots, if necessary, course correct.

Many clients come to me for therapy or coaching filled with regret of what happened in the past and decisions they felt they made which didn’t always end up in the best way. Regret and looking back over the past can be an integral part of the learning process. We need sometimes to express the regrets and explore our feelings, what we liked, what we didn’t etc. But be careful not to assign blame too harshly for where you could not have known the outcome of your decision. For example, you buy a house for an investment and then the house market collapses and you have to sell at a loss. This is a great example of where you might have had a good idea and a good intention but the outcome was probably way out of your control. Also not a great idea to make it mean something about yourself, for example: “I don’t make good decisions” or “nothing ever works out for me”. Our brains have a negativity bias (Rick Hanson, PhD..) so it is all too easy to go there and ignore all the other decisions we have made that worked in our favor. Think about the past lightly, and where possible, forgive, send compassion to it and bring yourself gently back to the present moment. There is nothing wrong with trial and error just make sure to try again. We can’t change the past so spending too much time there might rob us of precious time to create in the now. We can begin again in any moment and reset our GPS.

So just take a moment. Light a candle, take a breath, make yourself a cup of tea and feel into what seeds you might want to be planting right now. Perhaps there is a project you have always wanted to create, or something you have wanted to learn or plant. If there is anything that comes to mind, consider that there is no better time than the present. We feel far better when we are playing in the game than sitting on the sidelines. There is no right or wrong way only something that feels good for you. If the idea lights you up you are probably on the right track.

Sending you all much love as always,

Vivianne